The last post “Who Are You Talking To? . . . describes the types of people you expect are listening to you and their reactions. But what about the actual conversation? How do you deliver the same message while using different key words? Well, it all depends on your audience. You know the people in your life better than I do, so I will give an example.
You find out that you are getting a promotion with a big pay raise at work. This is great news, so who do you tell? Of course, you have to tell anyone who will listen! But not everyone will be happy for you . . . including co-workers or colleagues, friends, neighbors, a spouse, and maybe some family members. So what do you say? Once again, it depends on your audience!
If you are making more money or have more power than the person you are telling and that person is jealous of you for some reason, just say “I got such-and-such job, I hope it works out okay”. . . end of conversation. If the person you tell is supportive, say “I got the promotion for the position I was telling you about.” But if a person loves you unconditionally, you say “Yippee!, Yahoo! Yeah! I am so excited, I am so happy because I got the promotion with the big pay raise, let me tell you all about it!” Enough said.
I’ve noticed throughout my years that conversations mainly fall into three categories. It doesn’t really matter if the conversations are global or local, work-related, family oriented, or personal. There is no regard to the intellectual level of the discussion nor subject matter. The outcome of the conversation depends on who you talk to, the attitude and response of that person . . . and why you chose that person for a conversation!
The person who is not listening to you has no feedback! This person is only pretending to listen and is busy with “anything else.” The conversation is usually dominated by this person asking for a solution to their issues. Before you know it, their priorities are your priorities and you still need to talk to someone. You will be unable to share your big dreams and goals with this type of individual . . . because they truly don’t care, unless it is a benefit to them.
The person who is barely listening to you may provide unwanted feedback! That person might stop what they are doing to listen to you, but they got their own problems. Whatever the problem, it is the highlight of their day and nothing else matters. That person only has negative responses to every positive thing you discuss. This type of person is not honest because of their own insecurities, jealousy, or unhappiness! This person may say you are important . . . but you are not treated as a priority!
The person who is truly listening to you will provide valuable feedback! That person will stop whatever they are doing to give you their full attention. That person will share the positives and negatives with you so you can make the best decision or action plan to move forward. She or he will tap into their own life to share valuable resources or wisdom with you. Or just listen to you without any judgment! That person will support you whether they agree with you or not . . . because of unconditional love. This type of person is a rare find . . . of pure heart, loyal, and dedicated.
WHAT are you talking about?
Make your daily conversations meaningful. Measure how much these conversations are worth and the benefit to you. Often these conversations are just a way to distract you from what you need to be doing. Do not fill your hours and days with conversations that are not positive and uplifting. Communication is important. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Demand the same from others who want you to listen to them. Ask them to clarify what they are talking about. Rephrase what you think they mean to eliminate misunderstandings. Talk about your goals and dreams, not about current events and other people. Small minds talk about people. Average minds talk about events. Great minds talk about ideas.